We’re All Perishable. So Mail Me.

There is nothing like sending baked goods through the mail to the ones I love and appreciate. The entire process is a delight, from the idea, to the baking, to the wrapping, and especially the final moments at the post office when I’m asked questions vital to the preservation of democracy and the civil society. (I only go to the counter instead of the self-serve package mailing machine when there are six people waiting behind the poor soul who has never before used the machine, doesn’t have a debit or credit card–the machine doesn’t allow cash–and can’t figure out what to do because the screen has devilishly defaulted to Spanish.)

It’s my turn. I step up to the counter. The first question comes.

“Mailing anything explosive today?”


“Anything liquid or breakable?”


“Anything that promotes the destruction of America as we know it?” Ah, yes, this one is manufactured, but I’d love to hear it the next time I’m at the postal counter because it would mean I’d found the one postal worker with a sense of humor.

“Anything perishable?”

The mind is a marvelous thing. In the blink of an eye I say to myself “No, not if you do your job, it won’t perish,” and “We’re all perishable given enough time, right?” while simultaneously telling the postal worker


“Why does it say ‘open immediately upon receipt’ on the outside?” she asks.

Note to myself: No more ‘immediately upon receipt’ in red block letters on the outside of the package. Better to call.

“They are going to be so eager to receive it they will want to open it right away” I say.

Joy! The postage sticker spits out of the machine, I pay the bill, look the postal worker in the eye and smile, and tuck the receipt in my wallet. Success!

Moral of the story: Let nothing stand in the way of showering love on those you care for. The possibilities for creativity multiply like farm animals in the springtime.

Dan Cathy of Chick-Fil-A feels the same way:  http://cathyfamily.com/resources/videos/please-eat-more-chicken.aspx.


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