“My son and his fiance are starting counseling at our local church” he said. “They scream at each other a lot, so I asked him if he really wanted to codify this behavior.”
“My daughter’s friend is starting counseling at their church, too” said the woman. “But the pastor they’re going to see has never been married!” She took a bite of the bagel in her left hand. “What does a pastor who’s never been married know about marriage?”
The man was a gentle-hearted soul. He mumbled something about the Pastor maybe knowing a bit about what the bible says on marriage. The ‘wives respect your husband and husbands love your wives’ thing from 1 Peter.
“But he’s never been married! I told my daughter about some of the things that you need for a successful marriage: listen to each other, respect each other’s opinion, that sort of thing.”
The man just nodded his head, looking downward. He didn’t want to mention that she’d been divorced twice and he didn’t see that she had much standing to tell anyone anything at all about how to have a successful marriage. He didn’t want to mention that she, as a church-goer, probably couldn’t have found 1 Peter with both hands and a map. He was a gentle soul, and kind.
I heard the conversation rather than saw it. I know the people, so I thought maybe if I’d been that man I would have said what I ‘know’ he was thinking. And then I got to thinking about pride, and how my own pride causes me to make ignorant assumptions that just because I’ve experienced something that I’m an expert at it. I also think that someone who hasn’t experienced what I have is somehow disqualified from having wisdom to offer, particularly when there is Godly wisdom to be had. This is not true.
I must remember this.