What Eagles Never Bear

We’re watching the Decorah Eagles again this year (http://www.decoraheaglecamalerts.com/ie.htm) and it occurred to me that there are certain things eagles will never have to bear:

SPAM: no eagle has ever

·         been offered the chance at penile enlargement

·         needed a belly fat blast

·         been offered a work-at-home strategies to make a six figure income

·        been offered a chance to date eligible black-white-gay-straight-men-women-blondes-brunettes

·         been told to vote no on prop 29

·         been told to vote yes on prop 29

·         been advised to help the president win reelection

·         been advised that it will be curtains for the free world if we do not defeat the current administration and replace it with a new president.

MEMORY LOSS: no eagle has ever

·         misplaced his keys and had to call his spouse to let him in the house

·         forgotten to mail the Netflix video back

·         forgotten to return the library book so often the librarian knows him by name and calls him when it’s close to time to return his materials

·         burnt dinner on the stove because he forgot the burner was up on high

·         forgotten the name of the woman at church who just introduced herself

·         misplaced her reading glasses

·         forgotten to put the perishables back in the refrigerator so the milk curdled overnight

·         left her coffee in the microwave until the next morning.

FAMILY OBLIGATIONS: no eagle has ever

·         missed his parents

·         loved his sister

·         shared his fish with his brother

·         prayed for his siblings

·         laughed at anything at all.”

I’m glad we’re not eagles.